What Are You Saying to Yourself?

Can we talk about how to use affirmations? “I am perfect, whole, and complete just as I am.” “I am worthy of joy, love, support and respect.” “I do not blame myself for my childhood experiences/trauma.” “I am enough.” If you follow us on Instagram, you’re probably familiar with the affirmations we post every week. What are affirmations?

How often do you think positively about your life? Now how often do you think negatively about your life, your career, your future? Negative self-talk is very commonplace. “Such dreams are for those people.” “Me, I know my level.” Most of us have normalized saying these things, often unaware that we’re using our own words against ourselves. We have grown so accustomed to it that we don’t even think before speaking. And what does this do? It reminds us: our minds, our souls, our bodies, that there are certain things we shouldn’t even dream of achieving, whether it’s a healthy and fit body or a thriving business or a beautiful home. Our subconscious mind follows suit making sure we remain in boxes we have built for ourselves. The Bible speaks about the might of our words. Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. Affirmations are statements we repeat to ourselves to motivate us to take action in realising our goals, gain a healthier mindset while sustaining faith in ourselves. In 2005, scientists found that of the 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts we have each day, 80% were negative and 95% were repetitive. Think of how much those numbers have changed with the tragedies that we’ve all experienced since 2005 including the chaos of 2020. Let’s change the current. Let’s change those numbers to reflect the lives we want for ourselves. How can you begin to change your thought pattern? Affirmations can be as general or as specific as you choose. You can choose what part of your life you want to tackle: from your self-worth and mental health to how you’re dealing with your trauma and how well your respect your own boundaries.

You’ve picked your affirmations, now what? There are four ingredients to making your affirmations work for you:

• Concise choice of positive words

Affirmations shouldn’t be just words. The sooner you realise that they hold so much life within them, the sooner you add more importance to them. So, choose your words carefully. Use positive statements. Avoid using “never” or “not”. For instance, replace “I will never be good at this.” with “I am learning and growing every day.” Use the present tense to affirm that whatever you speak is something that you are already working on. Affirmations are not in the business of procrastinating. You plan on starting something in a few days, affirm in present time anyway.

• Clear visualization

Your affirmation is “I am learning and growing every day.” Visualise it. What does “learning and growing” look like in your world? What does it look like to you? If it looks like reading at least 4 or 5 pages of a good book every day, then visualise that. If it looks like taking on more courses including free ones online, then visualise that. Visualising what your affirmation looks like gives a clear focus for your mind and your body.

• Corresponding feeling

What does “I am learning and growing every day feel like? Does it feel fulfilling? Take a moment to feel that while you’re saying your affirmation. Does it make you feel content? Then feel that while you’re saying your affirmation. Does it make you feel like you’re taking up space that you desire? Then feel that while you’re saying your affirmation. “Feeling is emotion. Emotion is energy.” Dandapani

• Self-compassion

Some days will be good. Some days won’t go as planned. But don’t let one bad day or one bad moment blur your focus on your goals. Know that changing your energy might take some work but you’ll get there. Affirmations and the law of attraction

Affirmations work hand in hand with the law of attraction. That’s why it’s not enough to simply say the words without visualisation and a corresponding feeling. Dandapani explained how our affirmations and law of attraction work. He says, “energy doesn’t know how to discriminate between what’s good for you and what’s bad for you. It’s just energy. So anything of a similar frequency gets drawn to you.” Have you ever tried to stop attracting the same type of guy? But no matter what you do, you keep subconsciously getting drawn to the guys vibrating at the same frequency? Maybe it’s not enough for you to say you are over that type of guy. Maybe it’s time to actively and intentionally realign your energy to attract what you desire. What do you gain from using affirmations:

• Affirmations help you gain faith in achieving the life you want.

• Affirmations help you visualize what you trying to manifest.

• Affirmations inspire you to go for what are professing.

• Affirmation take attention away from the voices in your head say you can’t, won’t or will never achieve your dreams.

• Affirmations build your self-worth and sense of hope.

The alternative: “Iffirmations”

Sometimes it’s hard to get past the “troll” in our minds. Because we’ve been feeding the troll for so long, it always has ammunition to use against us. When you say, “I am enough.” The troll replies, “No, you’re not. Remember when…” or “You wish! You’re not like (insert name) who has their shit together.” When you say, “I am learning and growing every day.” The troll replies, “Yeah, right! *laughs in accusation* You’re always watching Netflix or...” If this is something you experience, then try “iffirmations”. When you replace “I am enough.” with “What if I were enough?”, the troll is disarmed. Your brain switches its attention onto replying that question: “I would apply for that job. I would feel more content. I would get out of this toxic relationship. I would do and be more.” Iffirmations must be a good place to start if speaking and believing in your affirmations proves to be difficult.

We hope that on your journey to creating the best version of life and yourself, you’ll remember to celebrate your ups and learn from your downs. “Hello, fear. Before you sit down, there’s something I need to explain. Since you’re here, I think I should tell you since we last talked things have changed. See I’m tired of being broken hearted so I made a list and you’re on it. All my hopes and my dreams you took from me. I want those back before you leave.” Hello, Kirk Franklin